The Heltsley Home Page

Great Gildersleeves - Hiccups. 410928.

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Note: I’m having some trouble with the automatic podcast for this show. It doesn’t show up in some devices. Visit the page, and right click to download.

In this early episode, Throckmorton P. Gildersleeves has only recently taken custody of his sister’s kids and her household. He has made a poor impression on Judge Hooker in earlier episodes. (Is that such a big surprise?) Gildy is actually trying to gain some ground, and make a good impression on the judge. He is due to have an important meeting to discuss the affairs of his sister’s estate, and wants to make a decent impression.

On the way out, Gildersleeves gulps a Read the rest of this entry »

Good Buy Mom

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.

“Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It’s just that you Read the rest of this entry »

More Ways to Tell If You are a Redneck

16 more ways to tell if you MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

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Box 13 - hunt and peck 03/06/1949

Episode 29. Dan saves a man from the chair just a few hours before the end, but at the cost of an arm.

Academy Award Love Song

by Falstaff.
(420308)

Download.

Note: Try right click, and Save Target, if the link doesn’t work. Falstaff was a character on Fred Allen’s radio program. He first appeared in 1941, and was voiced by actor, Alan Reed. He always spoke in verse on the topic of the day. Words of Fred Allen (are in parenthesis.)

(Well I guess that about takes care…)

Not too fast my frousy friend. Falstaff here the night to mend.

(Now look please, Falstaff.)

I have just tossed aside my rhyming dictionary.

(Well don’t tell me that you have concocted another brace of gamy poems.)

Oh yes, have you heard?
She calls me clumsy Reggie,
as I tripped and sprung my wedgie.

(No I haven’t heard that.)

Or,
Tell us Ellis, Read the rest of this entry »

Getting Used to the Changes

So far I’m enjoying the new changes around the Retro Radio Podcast. I’m trying to stay on schedule with the shows. I’m also discovering some cool things with a new tracking tool that I couldn’t use before.

Before, all I knew was that I had listeners, people who visited the web page to listen and browse, and people subscribed to the feed. Oh, and the number of downloads. Now I can spy on you listeners a little better. Hello out there you folks in Canada and Taiwan. Glad to see how far the podcast is going.

I also get a download count by Read the rest of this entry »

Complete Freedom, Complete Victory

Exodus 14:13. And Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall see again no more forever.
14:14. “The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.'’
–NKJ

It can be hard to trust in a God who is invisible, and seems so far away, rather than the pressing armies of the stressful world around us.

It would be nice if life were a simple, black and white situation. We know that we should stand fast in godly beliefs, but the pressures of the world have us caving in with fear. Pressure of deadlines at work or school. Pressure from society and culture. Financial burdens that outweigh our income. Stress in your marriage or family situation.

There you are, trying to trust God and follow him. You find yourself with your back against the wall with the army of stress crushing down on you. What were you thinking? What is God trying to do to you? Through your fear, keep Read the rest of this entry »